A year ago, I honestly could not stand who I was.
I hated that I wasn’t the person everyone wanted to hang out. That I wasn’t a favorite. That I wasn’t like everybody else.
I go into a room full of people, and when I am talking, I am totally awkward.
I hated that about myself.
I was in a room full of people though today, and I noticed something had changed.
I no longer hate that I am awkward.
When I’m talking to people, I talk so fast that I mess up my words. I’m now okay with that.
Sometimes, I am completely different from people in the room. I am now okay with that.
I have people who love me for me. A husband who laughs at the things I say, who loves me for being awkward. A family who thinks that I am the funniest person alive just because I am awkward.
Another thing I have realized:
I love food.
I know this seems like a no brainer, but seriously I love food.
I say to someone, ” I love cooking” and they say, “Oh, me too!” and I want to say, “no, no, I LOVE cooking!”
I love reading about the science of food, the nutritional break down of food.
I love reading about people who have turned their passion into food and made into helping people.
That’s what I want to do.
It inspires me so much.
Maybe someday, my awkward self will be cooking for people in Africa.
Maybe someday, my beautiful awkward self I’ll own a raw chocolate factory that only uses fair trade cocoa beans.
Someday, if I want it to happen, it will.